Reflections on Parenting

Since my son left for college, I’ve spent some time reflecting on my parenting journey.

 My biggest takeaway is that I’m so damn grateful for the inner work I’ve done that impacted my relationships with my son and my daughter. I worked really hard on becoming aware of my unconscious behaviors, beliefs and patterns and breaking them. 

 This looked like:

• becoming aware of my actions, my tone, my energy and being 100% responsible for myself

• being intentional about how I wanted to feel in our relationships

• understanding what was within my control (ME) and what wasn’t (everything else!)

• practicing gratitude

• becoming conscious of expectations I had for my kids and letting them go

• breaking the pattern of constantly doing so we could just BE

• learning HOW to be present

• focusing on connection over control

• stopping my pattern of wanting to fix, manage and control every detail of their lives

• accepting them for who they inherently are

• realizing when I got triggered it was about me – not them

• learning how to forgive – them and myself

• working on filling myself up so my kids didn’t feel like it was their responsibility

I want to be clear: I made a ton of mistakes that I would change if I could go back and do it again. I screwed things up a lot. It was messy.

 But I remained open to learning lessons for MYSELF at each phase of my kids’ existence. And for that I feel proud.

 As a result of this personal work, I’ve been able to create really beautiful relationships that I cherish with each of my kids. Every time I feel my heart aching because I miss my son, I'm reminded that I’m just so damn grateful.

 I share this with you today because no matter what’s going on in our world or what life stage we’re in, the invitation is always to focus on ourselves. Our lives will always benefit from the inner work we do. And it’s never too late to create the relationships we desire. 

 So, whether your kids are off to college or not, I invite you to reflect on your relationships. What have been your biggest lessons? How do you want to feel in your relationships? What small change could you make today to bring you closer to the people you love?

Love,

Mendy