it's ok if you're not ok

I was texting with a friend last night who shared that she is not ok. She just couldn’t shake the sadness that was enveloping her. Her chest was heavy, and she felt an overwhelming amount of grief and rage. She said that it felt like she needed to scream. She was trying to hold it together and make dinner for her family, but all she wanted to do was go up to her room and be alone.

I can relate. It’s been a devastating, heartbreaking week. We’re all still reeling from the unimaginable tragedy in Uvalde. If it feels unbearable that’s because it is. If it feels like too much that’s because it is. It’s just too much.

I shared a few things with her that have helped me this week and I thought I’d share them with you too. I hope something here serves you.

Unplug from the news and social media. It is important to be informed, but we don’t have to spend our days reminding ourselves of the horror. Create a boundary that feels good to you.

Feel your emotions. We’re not meant to bypass our pain. As uncomfortable as it is, lean into the grief and the rage and the helplessness you may feel. I shared with this friend that I did spend some time this week actually screaming. I was home alone, and it felt like the only way to truly express my emotions.

Do something grounding. You might want to move your body, get in nature, or simply walk outside with bare feet. Bringing ourselves back to our bodies and back to the earth can be healing.

Ask yourself, “What’s within my control?” When I feel lost, this question brings me back to myself and my own point of power. We are all contributing to the collective energy of this world. How do we want to show up? How can we be a positive force? What aligned action can we take to create change? Asking these questions reminds me that my job is to continue to step into my own power and to take care of my energy so I can live and lead with love.

Notice beauty. It coexists with the pain. Noticing it can give us that spark of hope that we need. It can raise our vibration and remind us that we have much to fight for.

Look to the people that inspire you. When I do get on social media, I intentionally find the leaders that inspire me. Glennon Doyle, Valerie Kaur, Alex Elle, Lalah Delia, Moms Demand. These are a few of the leaders that I’ve looked to this week.

And finally, remember it’s ok if you’re not ok. Just be gentle with yourself. Take some extra steps to nurture yourself in any way that feels good.

Sending you so much love.

Love and light,

Mendy