New Year, New You? Do you really need to change?
Happy New Year! How’s it going so far? I love talking to people this time of year and hearing how they start the year. Some feel the energy of a new beginning and love getting started on their goals. Others feel the energy of winter, which calls us to move more slowly, to stay grounded and to rest more. Which energy are you more aligned with? To be honest, I’ve felt a little of both. There’s a part of me that still wants to curl up by the fire and lay low, and at the same time, I also feel very energized to get started on my intentions for the year. This year, I’m experimenting with honoring where I am. I’m trying not to fall into the trap of constantly thinking of what I “should” be doing, and instead to allow myself to follow the natural energy that I feel in the moment. I have to say, it feels great to give myself permission to just do this! I see so many people making goals for themselves that, to me, feel more like restrictions and punishments. They seem to be made in the spirit of “I don’t like who I am or what I look like right now, so I’m going to make a bunch of rules that I have to follow so I can change that. If I don’t follow these restrictions I’ve placed, then I will feel like a failure.” Does this sound familiar? Are you setting your goals from a place of self-disapproval? How would your choices be different if you felt love and acceptance for yourself? What if you had compassion for yourself and gratitude for where you are right now? Would that change your goals? What if we don’t need to CHANGE or be fixed? What if we really don’t need to create something NEW? We were all born with special and unique talents and gifts, and we were all born with specific lessons to be learned in this lifetime. What if instead of striving for change, we focused on allowing our true selves to emerge? What if we all we really need to do is to align with who we inherently already are? Let me explain what I mean by living in alignment with who we really are. Several years ago, I hit an emotional low point. Although I was happy in my life with my family, I felt like my life didn’t reflect who I felt I was really meant to be. I was reading books about spirituality, health and wellness, and I thought about what I read all the time. But I wasn’t making choices in my life that reflected that. I kept everything inside to myself, and even the people closest to me didn’t know how I felt. My deepest hopes and dreams felt so distant and unattainable that I hardly thought of them in realistic terms. It took having physical ailments to get my attention and make me realize that not living in alignment was no longer a choice. (More on the messages our bodies give us to come….) When I did begin to make changes, it didn’t feel like I was trying to CHANGE myself. It felt like I was allowing myself to emerge. I started with my diet. I began to ask myself what I would eat if I were living in alignment with who I really was. What foods would make me feel the best? It took a lot of experimenting for me to find that answer. I asked what choices I would make in my relationship. How would I interact with my husband when he came in the door? What would I focus on when we were together? I asked myself how I would spend my time. Was watching mindless TV or spending my time on social media in alignment with my highest self? What could I do that would fill me up instead? What choices would I make when I was with my kids? How did I want to parent? Was I listening to my inner voice, or following what others were doing and looking outside of myself for answers? What would I talk about when I was with my friends? How could I be more authentic and let them see my true self? I’ve made a lot of changes in my life since that time. None of them felt like punishments, and all of them have led me to feel more alive, more fulfilled and more in love with life. I’m having more fun and feeling more joy than I ever did before. I want the same for you. I know that this is my assignment at this time in my life: become more of who you are. Live that. Express that. And help others do the same. Where are you on this journey? Are you already doing the same? Ready to try it for the first time? No matter where you are, be gentle with yourself! Ask yourself what your life would look like if you were truly living in alignment. Then take one step at a time. It’s not about being perfect. It’s just about being YOU. Wishing you a 2018 that’s filled with self-love, self-acceptance and more of who you really are. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Love and light, Mendy